Rain, Dreams and Bulalo

It's been raining non-stop. I'm on a 3-day off so I'm lucky that I don't have to struggle (at least, for now) getting to the office and deal with the flood. Oh you know how Makati City turns out to be a water world every time it rains, it sucks- big time.

So, since I was just at home last weekend, it turned out to be an eat-sleep-sleep-eat kind of a weekend.
I'm a happy kid! I had more than  eight hours of sleep!  but weird, each time I wake up I still feel that I need to sleep more!

What's worst about it is that I should be feeling okay, to have an eight hour sleep or so, is something that I would beg to have, but when I finally had it, it didn't feel so great.
It's probably because of the dream that I had.
I dreamed of my baby boy Astaro- I don't know why. It's been a long time, really, really long time.
I haven't heard anything about him since the last time I saw him. I wish I could say I remember all the details of my dreams but what I remember is just me- hugging him tight, he was giggling like he was excited to see me.
I even heard him laugh  and I was crying and smiling at the same time.
For some reason, it felt so real. The dream felt so real. Too bad that it had to end so soon but what I remember is enough.

I wonder every so often what it would be like if he's still with me and had met his brother LJ and his cousins Macoi and Aki. Would they get along? Would they like each other? Would they fight like my sister and I were doing when we were little kids?

 Sigh. I woke up feeling heavy and irritated. There are some things, a lot of things actually that I wish I can change but I just can't, hindi bale, they say you can't just  have it all at once.
I smiled to Will- the only person who had been dealing with my kind of mood and attitude lately- he deserves an award for doing it good. I haven't had a chance to thank him yet so I decided  to cook  something for him that I know he would totally love.

Bulalo ang bagoong isda

I know everything has changed and dreams are just dreams, not real. 
Whatever that means, I'm still glad that I had the chance to meet him, even not for real.

I don't know!

It has been a while! and I can't even believe that I'd be able to have some time alone and update this blog and tell you people what had been going on.

I don't know. I don't where to start.

All I know is that-  I work five days a week, sometimes six and still trying to balance life, work and love. Not necessarily in that order but yes, I want to convince my self that I can do it.

My sister flew out to Canada last, uhm I can't even remember but I remember I went to the airport so I can see her before she go.

It was sad. I was sad. I don't know.

Since then, I had to look after her kids and visit them every now and then to see how they are doing.
Macoi just turned five, Aki, the little one is about two. I don't know if they feel how I feel but I'm missing my big sister more and more each time I'm with them, there are times that I would just hug them out of the blue and tell them not to worry because I'm here.
Since then, I have become their mother.
I have watched them grow and learn how to speak, walk, sing, write, read and draw.
All things that my sister could have seen only if she was here.

Sometimes I feel a little weird. Here I am trying to be a mom of my sister's kids when in fact, I can't even be a mom of my own kids. sigh.

I don't know.

I heard the father of her kids is going to where my sister is at right now. She asked him to come over, sweet.
I don't know their plans but she asked me to come too. I said I'll think about it. I don't know. yet.

Work is doing fine, I'm starting to do something different, meeting new people and attending some trainings and classes and trying to reach a goal and have a better life. I'm already twenty nine, at this point in my life I know I should have been a better person. A stable and successful person.
Maybe I've done so many mistakes before. Maybe I've made wrong decisions.

I don't know.

All I know is that I'm trying to make it up.

It's funny that earlier I thought I'm starting to feel more mature. As I review and look back on this blog, I noticed that, I used to post a lot about make up, messy love life, hatred and what not.

And I don't wanna do the same thing anymore.

I think it's fine to let the people know how you really feel sometimes but I don't think it's fine to tell stories that would  make them feel like, they are reading an online diary of a lost sixteen- year old girl and how she blows her own life.

I have been there.

and I'm not going to be the that kind of person anymore.

I don't know. Hahaha..

Next time, I'll upload photos of the places that I've been to and people hat I've been with while I was out and neglecting this blog of mine!

Belated Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

I know, I know.. It's too late for a New Year post specially for Christmas post but uhm, I've been busy and now is my only chance and I am grabbing this chance to post everything that happened before 2012 ended.

I spent Christmas & New Years eve at work (as usual), it was sad but we had free meals that time so it took away all the drama in me. hahaha.
I had drunk callers ( I work as a customer service representative in a travel account) calling to rebook because they missed their flights and callers that was just calling because they simply wanted someone to talk to because they ain't got no one around. sigh. I once told a customer that I cant even remember when was the last time I spend good Christmas with my whole family and I miss the feeling of getting excited over December, to let him know that He's not alone and just to start a conversation, He answered " Well, I guess Christmas is just for kids."  and He continued to talk about how He hates Christmas and spending it alone and all that and it got me bored. Makes me wanna say that are you wasting $$$$ in an international call just to let the people know that you hate Christmas? Okay. blah. blah. blah. Sometimes, it's kinda tiring-- to hear the same, lonely and full of self pity stories. I hear you Sir, thank you for calling. HAHAHA What a drag.

It was a long Christmas/New Year night and it has been like this for quite sometime now and I didn't mind, I'm starting to get used to it, at all.

The next day, we had a small early morning Christmas party with office mates at Music21 along Jupiter Ave., Makati. looove the Nachos there!

Colorful ceiling, Nachos! Iced cold beer!, Gifts and lots of gifts!

Too early for a cold beer and for videoke  they say, but I guess nothing is too early when the only time to celebrate the occasion is right after work. I had fun and I like all the gifts that I received, it was all colorful and base-on-personality-gift! My sister gave me a cute Anna Sui coin purse  with small flowers embed., my supervisor gave me a neon orange headset organizer, someone gave me a huge nice and colorful wall clock , a coffee mug  with my name on it, key chains and lots of them! hahaha I also bought my self a gift- a Kenneth Cole watch, from my Christmas bonus!  lol simple little things that made my day, for sure!

Heheh Where's me??

and right after that, I headed to my relatives to see them, I was with my sister and her family, She took picture of me while I was sleeping and they are celebrating--

Merry Christmas and a Happy New year! zzzzzzz...

I am starting to like and appreciate the lights and colors of the said season, I used to hate bright Christmas lights and tall Christmas trees, seeing those makes me-- missing my family more and more. but for some reason, not until last year, it suddenly made me smile and giggle.. and I honestly don't know why.

 

 

Belated Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! HAHAHAH.

Novemburr!

We just got home from a night shift work and so we had to go there even if  we hadn't had enough sleep at all.  I cant imagine myself being home alone  kapag araw ng mga patay and boyfriend is at work and  every wind blows and footsteps is freakin' the hell out of me. charot! But Im glad I did went there to see my cousin,who happened to be preggy anyway! I'm happy for her even though she can't really decide whether to get married or not (sigh!).
 I also had a chance to be with my cute pamangkins, my sister and my aunt! Im so happieeeeeeeeeeeeee!
I thought I really miss them! we rarely see each other ever since I moved out   and more often than not, I send them text messages to say what's up but only to find out after two days that it was never sent at all! We didn't have rounds of drinks like we normally do as welcoming each other, I guess it's because one of them who used to be my bottle buddy is now carryin' a little brat on her tummy! and we feel like, its not going to be thesame if she would just stare to us and trip on the pulutans! But it's all good, the whole day was just plain talkin', eating and talkin' again and some  moments of silence because everybody was busy tryin" to connect to my sister's pocket wifi but ended up really frustrated because just when we all successfully did it, the thing died  and the good old charger was left at home! dammit. We spoke to Mom and LJ over the phone, I was gettin emotional because I really miss them na and Its sad that I had to spend  occasions with relatives rather than with my own family. But I wiped the thought right away, I should be thankful, at least I have these people. Im not alone.

ya know who!

Playing with the kids. and okay, mag kaiba ang suot kong damit at ung blanket, mukha lang silang iisa! lol

Me and lil Macoi!

LOL push up!

My sister and her hubby

Boys will always be boys! UFC!

My tita's famous biko!

It was fun. again, Im glad I took time to see them. I know it will take another occasion for us to to see each other.But its aaigght. Im happy that they are all  doin good and tryin to have a life!



*Photos by evilsister

Eating is Exercise!

I just realized that, man, I'm gettin' big! lol
Do you ever have random cravings for food? This happens to me a LOT.
From street foods to real foods and I usually go to any resto or anywhere else to eat
to satisfy the boss tummy, but sometimes, I hold the knife and turn on the fire and the kitchen is where it's at.

I am not a pro but atleast I know what to do when I'm at the kitchen, I dont even hold the knife properly
and I cut things my own style but foods that I served after never really went bad at all.

Here's some of the actual photos of  them that I have mastered cooking (charot).

TOFU

 I know, I know you probably think that even a five year old kid can just cut it and drop it just like that but believe me- the taste of tofu will depend on how you cook it- I like it really golden brown outside but not disgusting inside. Not over cooked or even half cooked.

BEAN SPROUT/ Togue

 I don't know why but this is the only bean that I enjoy eating- I think it's always perfect with carrots and some cabbage on it and a chili pepper of course.

PORK SINIGANG

 I always cook this because I just love sinigang just like that, now I don't  blanch the green veggies or do something about it just to make it look more attractive and appetizing, I honestly want the veggies over cooked like I cant even taste them at all because I'm not really a fan of it. hehe

Ginataang Alimango sa Kalabasa

 Now that sounds very pinoy but yeah, I dont just add some ready  mix coconut milk in can, you know. I still prefer the old school gata.

SHRIMP TEMPURA

 One time I thought that I guess, the secret of a tasty tempura is in the sauce not the Shrimp itself. Hehe

BUTTERED SHRIMP

yeah, simple as it sounds *wink

Sinigang na Bangus

Chicken Tinola

Chciken Afritada

Man, I love CHICKEN! like obviously!

and oh hey,speaking of chicken, have you ever been to one of Mang Inasal's branches? Who wouldn't have want to eat at a fancy restaurant where rich and famous hangs out right? but when all else fails and a 100 bucks is all what's left in your pocket might as well want to go where Chicken Inasal is just 99.00php and it comes with UNLIMITED RICE! hehe

PM 1

And u gotta try this Pork sisig! Well it could have been better if there's an egg and calamansi and chili sauce but well yeah I must say, without those this is still tasty!

Pork Sisig

Fritter Split

and of course, all should end with a sweet! sweetness! yep! right amount of Banana and Jack fruit with a little choco syrup,in fairness! kahit local lang ang Ice cream,masarap siya!

I love to cook like how I love to eat, I take that back- I mean- I love to cook and man, I horribly  love to eat.
Chewing is the only form of exercise that I enjoy doing!

My tummy is gettin really wild right now and I cant wait for the sun to shine! It's my rest day so I guess you all know what that means! FOOD TRIP! :)

Another night at seaside.

My older sister and I have always been extremely close. She is my best friend, and we have a deep understanding and compassion for one another. I look to her for unconditional support, honest advice,   laughter, and guidance. Not having her around was one of the toughest aspects of leaving home. That is why whenever she asks me to go out with her or with her kids or with her friends- Its really hard to say no. . :D

It was her best friend's birthday the other day and my sister forced (lol) me to tag along and was asked to bring Krispy Kreme Doughnut Cakes for the celebrant.Call time was 6:00pm but of course, I came late-like the usual, 8:30PM. They were eating,talking and simply enjoying the foods when I arrived with boyfriend (dramatic entrance).
They all looked and smiled at me- 

"Andito na pala si Ar-Ar eh! Where's the cake??" the celebrant asked.

And I was like, "Oh yeah, the cake! Papa-deliver ko na lang sa bahay n'yo."

And they all made a heavy sigh. As usual.  :p I saw my sister staring at me and I can feel that she's cursing me silently.
PEACE. Hehehe

Anyway, there's this seafood resto at seaside Macapagal that we usually go to and they call it Aling Tonya's. A lot of times when we feel like pigging out and craving sea foods, it's the only place to be and I must admit,they served really good food but of course,they should- ang mahal kaya ng paluto sa kanila! and although the serving staff isn't great with their customer service and if they just could reduce the excessive wait time between ordering and when your food is served all would be great.

They took some photos of it that I'd like to share here :)

Too bad, because I was late no one asked for Tempura! ;(

My sister's College/HighSchool friends!

and there she goes, my sister and her 5 month old baby Aki.

My sister's 5 year old kiddo! and me! My boyfriend Will at the back, busy on his own! :D

and lastly, Macoi,Me,Will and the celebrant, Marichu.

It was a night filled with laughter! and I didn't really mind at all if they are all years older than me, I started going out with them since I was at grade school and my ate used to really hate it if our parents would ask her to ALWAYS take me along with her wheneverer she would go out with her friends, I don't why- but I think she got used to it! :D

Well, she should get use to it- wala naman siyang choice! ;p

I'm on leave a for almost a week that's why I have enough time to update this blog. I promised my son LJ to keep it updated as much as I can so when He turns 18 (He's  5 now) He'll get to see/know  what I have gone and been trough while He's growing up, I told him to skip the make up review of course! :) and I also told him that by chance he'll be able to meet his brother A.K. he can let him know why sometimes I have to post some not so nice entry 'bout his Dad and his Dad's family. LJ said okay but I'm not quiet sure if He really cares or understand what  exactly what I was tryin' to say but He said okay so I'll take his word. :)

So after months of struggling with my love life way back and moving back at my sister's place made my bonding to my own family  tight more than what we used to. I had drinking session with my Dad- one on one not to mention heart to heart talk, I had so much time to hang out with my sister and her kids of course & prepare meals with Mom and play with LJ and I was surprised that it helped a lot-- It felt really good. It felt really good that after how many mistakes that I've done, they were just there at my back- all the time, and oh- my relatives as well, It's funny how they just smile at me and offer beer and sit down and talk about what happened. I'm thankful that I was not alone when all along I thought I was.

My Mom, Dad and LJ at Star City

The whole gang at some resort at Cavite.

The family! Look at LJ hahahah

Me, Will. Macoi and his lola.

Just so you know

Sabi ng kapatid ko ACCEPTANCE is the key.

Life is a lot easier when you aren't beating yourself up all the time. If you're not happy with a current relationship  for whatever reason, then end it. If you think you guys are not going anywhere, then end it.
Sometimes you have to accept the truth that no matter how you want to hold on and how you want to work things out with that person, but that person is super deadma lang- then you know you gotta end it.

which  I'm glad I did.

You can curse me from my head to my toe. You can let everybody know that I'm a bitch--but It would not take away the truth, that You were dumped simply because you were  not man enough to handle a relationship, takot ka sa nanay mo oo-- I guess that's the main reason why you can't even decide on your own.
So okay, I'll let you say whatever you wanna say-post it on FB and on Twitter- I DON'T care-- ( I deleted you anyway)
but just so you know, It will not make you  a better person. So if I were you, stop being so bitter about it- go out and have fun, forgive and let's be friends for the kid sake, of course.

I have accepted that- you + me = World War 3 and that your family will never be like a real family to me and that you really deserve someone else and that I deserve someone else (much better) as well.

I have updated this blog not because of you- but to let our common friends (and strangers too) know that once and for all, I'd like to say that yes, it was primarily your fault and I know you know that (and I'm not writing it here to rub it in.)but to let you know,that after all I deserve some respect (which I never got from you & your family by the way).
So whoever I am with right now, respect that. If I changed my FB status to being in a relationship with a different guy now-  makes you feel bad about it-then feel it-- that feeling is not even close with how I felt when you told me that I am not your responsibility at all considering that we have a kid- and that feeling is not even close with how I felt with all the Insults that I heard from your family. So again, if you're feeling bad about it, bad is not even close with how I felt before.So just feel it and accept it.

Because no matter how you try to make your self believe that  I'm unhappy-- I am HAPPY now. and this feeling is not even close when I was with you. Kuha mo? Mag move on ka na nga.

#JustSayin'


*End of this so emo and negative post. Next post will not be a trash post I promise. :D

OMG, It's confirmed!

I've always had a weakness for a boy with a guitar and a drink in his hand, for a great lookin', great body and bald boy until I got tired of it so I said to my self, why not try to hook up with a lot kinda of different guy.You know the kinda of guy you usually see at the hall,elevator or even at the pantry at work.The serious kind of guy who wears eye glasses like Harry Potter's with a tea in his hand.
And so I met someone..
He's the typical but I could stare at him forever.
He's quiet but he's good at makin' u feel kilig..
I wonder why I never heard him went out with anyone.
He wears green most of the time, maybe its his favorite color.
He's someone that Im starting to like..
But..
He's.. someone that I never thought He could be..

and It's confirmed.

He's gay.

Damn. ;)

Betta late than neva!

FYI. It’s a super late short “happy coffee day entry”.  Ehehe

Please bear with this lady who has this weird habit of composing an entry but tends to forget to hit the “publish post” button. Silly.

BETTER LATE THAN NEVER, they say.

-----------

This morning I had coffee like the usual and just like the usual..  Every cup reminds of you.

I remember that one time, you made me one with a note beside it and it says:

“I know how much you look forward for every morning because of this God damn dark liquid! ;)

And I want you to know that I’m willing to make you a cup-forever or at least, for how long you want me to.”

Shit. That was the very first moment that I realized that somehow, I’m pretty! LMAO.

It has been six long years and I have now more reason to wake up and look forward for every sunrise.

(Eg reason: The sound of that freaking alarm clock, to prepare breakfast for boyfriend, the laundry, and the unreasonably and undeniably messy apartment!)

And it hasn’t exactly been the same like the morning I used to have with you. Things are lot more different now I thought.

Life and love has been tough and I wonder how have you been after that morning.

Oh well, I wish you happiness and love (promise! Mamatay man!)

You will always be my favorite coffee buddy.

I miss you.

-------------

And this a video from Taylor Swift (not a fan of her but I like the lyrics) to complete the emo morning of mine.

Back to December.

Chapter 1

Suup ye'all?! Bet ye'all missin' me! :)

Anyhow, I wonder how its like to be idle for a while so.. I was idle for a while! :)

Its been a couple of months since I left work and Ive been..

pigging out!

chocolates!

@Ice berg!

sa Binyagan! hahaha

Maxx Chicken all you can!

@ Dampa,Sea food!

 Ive been trippin' and playin' around!

been giggling!

 

and laughin'!

Ive been completely enjoying my so called life! :) and to be honest, it feels good!

I will be defenitely doing it over AND over again!

This Monday I will be working on a new environment and with new people! and will update this blog as soon as I can!

Holla!

Review: Mary Kay Creme Lipstick

Without a doubt, Angelina's lips are one of her greatest features and most recognizable traits.
Same with mine. LOL I mean seriously! but for me people notice my lips not because they're pretty but because they are  big!  So.. finding a perfect lip wear for me is always a big challenge.

until I discover Mary Kay!

"Getting gorgeous is easy with the perfect shade of lipstick, on-trend eye colors, mascara that delivers mile-long lashes and a kiss of cheek color."

Mary Kay has a variety of lip wear selection,

but there's this one lipstick shade from Creme Lipstick collection that really caught my attention,

The new Beauty That Counts® Mary Kay® Creme Lipstick in Give Dreams provides a vibrant color for fair and medium skin tone.

I love all of them! but I must say that the dusty rose shade really suits my full lips! check this out!

without flash

with flash

with flash and with naughty smile! lol

with flash / close up and without flash

Long-wearing, stay-true color glides on with a lightweight creamy texture!

. This limited-edition* lipstick comes in a specially-designed tube with the word "thank you" in 13 languages softly wrapped around it.

and you know what's awesome about it is if you purchase the limited-edition* Beauty That Counts® Mary Kay® Creme Lipstick from May 16 through December 31, 2011, $1 will be donated (from each sale of Beauty That Counts® Mary Kay® Creme Lipstick) in Give Dreams, a local charitable institution ito help change lives of women and children.

(+)

• Long wearing.
• It's perfect for everyday wear.
• It glides easily! 
• No weird taste.
• Smells just fine.
• Mary Kay does not conduct animal testing for its products and is a PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) pledge member.  :) (yeah!)

(-)

• You will have to meet up or talk to their beauty consultants to know more about it or any of their products. They don't have a market stall inside the mall.

You guys can check them here! or call (632) 859-6211. :)

Nevertheless, It's all good! It's an awesome limited edition!


 Wait there's more! A friend will hook me up a Mary Kay's compact this week!

Will do a review about it as soon as I can!

Holla atcha guys next time!